When Faith Goes Too Far

When Faith Goes Too Far

By Daveed Gartenstein-Ross
Seduced by Radical Islam

Before I was an FBI informant, an apostate and a blasphemer, I was a devout believer in radical Islam. That meant I had to remember a lot of rules. I could never pet a dog or shake hands with a woman. I could eat only with my right hand, and before prayer, I had to roll my pant legs above my ankles. I accepted all this.

And more. I believed that non-Islamic governments were illegitimate, that jihadists were brave holy warriors carrying out the will of Allah, that Jews and other non-Muslims were inferiors who had to be conquered and ruled. Funny thing, I was born Jewish. At 23, with my nose in a wool prayer rug, I found myself praying for the humiliation of my parents because true Islam demanded it, or so I believed.

This is the story of how I was seduced by radical Islam -- and how, over time, I embraced a worldview that I had once abhorred.

I grew up in Ashland, Oregon, the only son of parents who were nontraditional, to say the least. They were sort of Unitarian Jews who esteemed a mishmash of religious figures from different faiths -- a spiritual patchwork that I found unfulfilling.

It was during my junior year at Wake Forest University, in 1997, that I first learned about Islam. One friend in the dorm was a moderate Muslim whose faith led him to become a campus activist, fighting religious prejudice and homophobia. His convictions appealed to me, and I was envious of the spiritual anchor in his life.

I went to a mosque for the first time with him and took part in the Islamic ritual of prayer. I didn't even try to repeat the Arabic words; I just did my best to imitate the bowing and prostration. As I left, one of the Muslims came up and gave me a book: What Every American Should Know About Islam and the Muslims.

I read this volume and others, hoping to be reassured that our Western fears of Islamic terrorism were misplaced. There were certainly Muslim extremists, but Christianity had also gone through dark periods, hadn't it?

Then, during my next semester abroad in Venice, I befriended an Italian convert to Islam. I knew there was an emptiness in my life, and eventually I asked, "How do I become a Muslim?"

That evening, I publicly declared my devotion to Islam by reciting the shahadah, the Islamic declaration of faith, before Muslim witnesses. I had found my spiritual home.

Infidel Country

The Muslim religion, as practiced by the moderate believers I knew, felt comfortable to me, even familiar. I didn't hide my conversion from my parents, who regarded it as a healthy part of my spiritual journey. But I kept some things to myself, such as my first encounter with a darker interpretation of Islam.

While visiting Ashland in December 1997, I attended a local mosque, where I heard my first radical sermon. The imam, Hassan Zabady, said that Muslims now living in non-Muslim lands should move to Islamic countries. His message was clear -- if a Muslim lives in a corrupt environment, he will be corrupted.

At the end of the worship, I walked outside with Sheikh Hassan, who waved his hand at the beautiful green peaks surrounding us. "You'll be compromised if you stay in this kafir [infidel] country," he said. "Just look at all these homosexuals." The shock of these words never left me.

The following winter, I was again on vacation in Ashland and decided to visit a Muslim prayer house just outside town. To my surprise, I drove up to a massive home in a neighborhood of upscale "McMansions." One of the local Muslims explained the opulent surroundings: The congregation had become affiliated with a Saudi Arabian charity called the Al Haramain Islamic Foundation, which had given it a grant to buy the house. It now doubled as the foundation's American headquarters.

Al Haramain's purpose, I was told, was to spread true Islamic teachings through various outreach programs -- everything from sponsoring seminars and lectures to providing Islamic literature to libraries and prisons. It turned out the foundation was looking to hire a person to help run its office. I'd be graduating in December with nothing to do until law school in the fall, and a job at Al Haramain seemed ideal: I could learn about Islam while saving on rent by living with my parents.

I was hired and soon learned that I was joining an impressive operation. In the halcyon days before 9/11, Al Haramain had offices in more than 50 countries and an annual budget of $30 million to $80 million.

My job was managing the office and overseeing the prison outreach. Everything appeared to operate in a normal way, other than a few curious experiences. My boss seemed contemptuous of the U.S. tax system, and I suspected he was cheating the government out of some payments. For example, my first paycheck from Al Haramain had computer written in the memo space. I was asked if I'd be willing to testify in court, if need be, that I had gotten my check for selling Al Haramain a computer. I was taken aback but thought it was easiest to just say yes.

Killing for Islam

The foundation quickly challenged my moderate outlook. In January 1999, just after I started work, I was driving a visiting sheikh around town. As I walked to my car to clean out the passenger seat, a dark-haired woman greeted me. She wasn't wearing a hijab, the head scarf worn by Muslim women.

She introduced herself as an elementary school teacher and said she wanted to bring her class over so they could learn about Islam. I glimpsed the sheikh out of the corner of my eye. He stood far enough away that he wouldn't have to introduce himself, but close enough that he could listen.

When our brief conversation ended, the teacher stuck out her hand and said, "I appreciate the help. It was nice talking with you."

I knew that shaking hands with a woman was prohibited by Muslim law and that the sheikh was watching. So I let her stand there with her hand sticking out. Then I said, somewhat embarrassed, "No, thanks."

She gave me a perturbed look, then turned and walked away without another word.

An especially hard step for me was giving up music. I was told at Al Haramain that music was impermissible, but for months I couldn't stop listening to it. I loved music too much. But that summer, as I met more conservative Muslims and saw the consistency in their practice of Islam, I felt that I needed to make a decision.

I was in my car listening to Jimi Hendrix, when I pulled into my driveway. I took the tape to my room, held it in both hands and squeezed until it snapped in two. In that instant, the broken tape became a symbol: I was turning my back on my old life.

One summer morning, I realized just how much I had come to accept a worldview that I once would have rejected out of hand. A visiting scholar who lived in Saudi Arabia, Abdul-Qaadir Abdul-Khaaliq, told me after one of his lectures that an 11-year-old boy had asked a question. The youth's mother had left Islam for Christianity, so his question was natural enough: "If someone had been Christian, then became Muslim, but went back to Christianity, could she return to Islam?"

Abdul-Khaaliq immediately answered, "Some people think you should kill them."

He explained that a Muslim commits not only to Allah but to the Islamic state. So turning your back on that commitment is treason.

Instead of being outraged at the idea that people should be killed for changing religions, I heard myself say, "That makes sense." If this was true Islam, it was precisely what I should believe.

Early on at Al Haramain, I learned of an essay written by a former Saudi chief justice, "The Call to Jihad in the Qur'an." Knowing it would challenge my moderate principles, I avoided reading it for several months. Eventually, though, I decided I was ready for it.

The jurist outlined the historical phases of jihad in Prophet Muhammad's life and concluded that those who reject Islam must be conquered. And if they refuse to abandon their old religion, they must pay the Islamic state "with willing submission, and feel themselves subdued."

The implications were unsettling: Jihads against non-Muslim regimes were just wars, and non-Muslims in Islamic countries should be given the choice of conversion or living like second-class citizens. But my duty wasn't to question these teachings. Rather, it was to strengthen my faith so I could more easily accept them.

Later that night, I sat on my prayer rug in a corner of my room and, for the first time, prayed for victory for the mujahedin, the holy warriors.

Remembering the Past

My ideas about the faith were fully transformed. I didn't share my more radical views with my parents, knowing they were already uncomfortable with the rigidity of my beliefs.

That fall of 1999, I began studies at the New York University School of Law, even though a prominent sheikh had said to me bluntly, "You should not go to law school. If you do go, you will have to say that the Constitution is good."

During my first year at NYU, it was as though I lived in a different universe than my classmates. While their biggest concerns were class reading and finals, mine was grappling with the question of what Allah really wanted me to do and believe.

At my apartment, I would read fatwas online, looking for spiritual guidance. But more and more, I began to analyze them critically. As I read about the need to subjugate women, about how anyone who leaves the Muslim faith and does not repent and return to it "will be killed as a kafir and apostate," I realized that I harbored real moral doubts about radical Islam. And now there were no ardent fundamentalists around me to help keep those doubts at bay.

Depressed and confused, I kept my spiritual struggles to myself. I still prayed five times a day, but increasingly my supplications to God were different. I stopped asking for victory for the mujahedin, or for my heart to be cured of its doubts. Instead, I asked God to show me what I needed to know. I no longer was convinced I knew the truth.

I agonized over my beliefs for many months -- a deeply upsetting time for me. By late 2000, however, I was ready to depart Islam and told just a few of my closest Muslim friends. They were surprised but forgiving.

I expected life to be more calm for me, now that my Islamic past could be tucked away on a shelf. The tragic events of 9/11 only fueled my desire to leave behind this part of my life. Then came a Thursday night in February 2004. My parents called on the phone to tell me that Al Haramain's offices had been raided by federal agents. Apparently investigators suspected the foundation of trying to help finance Islamic fighters in Chechnya. (The directors of the foundation claimed the money was intended for refugees and still deny any wrongdoing.)

As I read newspaper accounts, certain things fell into place: the enthusiasm my old co-workers had for the Chechen mujahedin; my old boss's dim view of the American tax system, consistent with the money-laundering charges.

That weekend, after a lot of thought, I phoned the FBI field office in Medford, Oregon. A woman answered. I told her I thought I could provide some useful information. "My name is Daveed Gartenstein-Ross," I said. "I worked for Al Haramain."

"Oh," she replied. "I know who you are."

Minutes later, she gave the phone to another agent in charge of the investigation, and we talked for an hour.

That call marked the moment I began to fully come to terms with my past. It's a past I had wanted to forget but one that I know now I can never ignore. One reason is my memory of September 11.

I was still in Manhattan on that clear, sunny day and watched the Twin Towers smolder from the street outside my apartment. Later that evening, I saw television footage from the Muslim world, showing crowds of extremists celebrating the carnage. I couldn't help but wonder, if I had remained a fundamentalist Muslim and grown more radical over time, would I have been among those openly cheering the attacks? I'm not completely sure. But I'm positive I would have at least applauded their goals. Toppling heretical Muslim governments in the Middle East, and ultimately taking the fight into the West -- these were the aims of jihadists in a global struggle. And I had once prayed for their triumph.

Last Updated: 2006-01-11

Source: http://www.rd.com/content/printContent.do?contentId=33063

The Medical Benefits of Taraweeh Prayers

Muslims derive therapeutic and spiritual benefits starting from the Wudu to the physical movements in the Salat -Takbir, Qiyam, Ruku, Sajda, Jalsa, and Tasleems. Muslims perform five daily contact prayers (Salat) and voluntary prayers (Sunnah, Nafl) throughout the year and Taraweeh prayers during the month of Ramadan. This results in moderate physical exercise particularly to every muscle in the body. Some muscles contract isometrically (same length) and some contract in approximation or isotonically (same tension). The energy needed for the muscle during exercise is met by a process known as glycogenolysis. The rate of muscle metabolism increases during the performance of Salat, resulting in a relative deficiency of oxygen and muscle nutrients. In turn this deficiency causes vasodilation - an increase in the calibre of blood vessels - thereby allowing blood to flow easily back to the heart. The temporarily increased load on the heart acts to strengthen the heart muscle and to improve the circulation within the heart muscle.

During the month of Ramadan, additional prayers are performed after salatul Ishaa, called Taraweeh prayers which vary from 8 rakat (unit of prayer) to 20 rakat with a few minutes break after every 4 rakat for chanting and extolling the Majesty of Allah. After Iftar (breaking of fast) the blood glucose level continues to rise from the food ingested. Just before the Iftar meals, the blood glucose and insulin levels are at their lowest level. After an hour or so after theIftar meal, the blood glucose begins to rise and also plasma insulin. Liver and the muscles take up the circulating glucose. The blood sugar reaches high levels in an hour or two and the benefits of Taraweeh prayers come into effect. The circulating glucose is metabolised into carbon dioxide and water during the Taraweeh prayers.

Hence the Taraweeh prayers help in expending the extra calories and improve flexibility, coordination, reduce stress-related autonomic responses in healthy persons, and relieve anxiety and depression.

Physical and Emotional Well-Being

The gentle exercises performed in Taraweeh prayers improve physical fitness, emotional well-being and increase the longevity of the Namazi (one who performs the Salat or Namaz). When a little extra effort is made, as in performing the Taraweeh prayers, there will be a betterment in the endurance, stamina, in flexibility and strength. It was noted that the five daily prayers (Salat) produce the same physiological changes without any undesirable side effects as those produced by jogging or walking at about three miles per hour. Recent research studies performed on 17,000 Harvard alumni who entered college between 1916-1950 give strong evidence that only moderate aerobic exercise, equivalent to jogging about 3 miles a day, promotes good health and may actually add years to life. Men who expended about 2000 kcal of energy on a weekly basis (equal to a daily 30-minute walk, run, cycle, swim, etc.,) had one-quarter to one-third lower death rates than classmates who did little or no exercise. In addition to the health-boosting qualities of the Salat, the Namazi will be trained to be ever ready for any unexpected physical exertion such as sudden lifting of children, chairs, or catching a public transportation vehicle. The elderly will accomplish this more securely and efficiently. Hence this is an advantage for the elderly to maintain their physical fitness for a longer period of time. It has been observed that those who fast and perform the Taraweeh prayers report feeling much convalescing and robust.

The Elderly

As human beings grow older, their physiological activity diminishes, as a result their bones become thinner and if not taken care of will suffer from osteoporosis (which causes the fractures of the bones when they fall in the elderly due to a loss of bone mineral content and consequent sponginess of the bones. The bone then becomes structurally unstable, brittle and susceptible to fractures). Primary osteoporosis is most common among postmenopausal (due to reduction in oestrogen) women or those who have undergone a bilateral oophorectomy (both the ovaries removed). Women are six times more likely than men to develop Type I osteoporosis. The three major prevention strategies of osteoporosis are a high dietary intake of calcium and vitamin D, regular exercise and oestrogen replacement in postmenopausal women. The skin also becomes fragile and crinkled. The repair processes of the body become slower and immune responses are decreased. In the elderly their physical activity is reduced as a result they have lower levels of Insulin Growth Factor 1. Reserve functions of all vital organs decrease and the elderly are more susceptible to mishaps and ailments. Because of repeated and regular movements of the body during Salat the muscle strength, tendon power, joint flexibility and the cardiovascular reserve are improved. Hence Salat and Taraweeh prayers enable the elderly to enrich the quality of life and to meet with unforeseen difficulties such as falls which could injure their bodies. Therefore Taraweeh prayers will improve their endurance, self-respect and self-confidence in being self-reliant.

Adrenaline is secreted even by minor activity. The secretion outlasts the incitement. Even after the Taraweeh prayers are over the effects of adrenaline and noradrenaline are manifest. (Adrenaline also called epinephrine is produced by the adrenal glands. The middle part of these glands, the adrenal medulla, secretes the hormone, which is chemically almost identical to the transmitter substance noradrenaline produced at the ends of sympathetic nerves. Adrenaline secretion into the bloodstream in stress causes acceleration of the heart, constriction of arterioles, and dilation of the pupils. In addition, adrenaline produces a marked increase in metabolic rate thus preparing the body for emergency.) Even the thought or the intention of performing the Taraweeh prayers is sufficient to activate the sympathetic nervous system. Sympathetic nervous system (thoraco-lumbar nervous system) is one of the two division of the autonomic nervous system, which supplies motor nerves to the smooth muscles of internal organs and to the heart muscle. Sympathetic nerve fibres arise via spinal nerves in the thoracic and lumbar regions. Their endings release mainly adrenaline, which increases heart rate and breathing rate, raises blood pressure, and slows digestive processes, thereby preparing the body for "fight or flight" and antagonising the effects of the sympathetic nervous system. The adrenaline would redistribute the blood in the body to the active muscles, would mobilise liver glycogen if necessary in order to provide glucose for the active tissues, would diminish fatigue in skeletal muscles and would facilitate alveolar ventilation relaxing bronchiolar muscle, and would initiate cardiovascular changes. Exercise induces a more effective functioning of beta-adrenoreceptors located on cell membranes.

Beneficial effects of Gentle Exercise

The Taraweeh prayer is considered to be gentle exercise. The beneficial effects of gentle exercise on the body are many which are elaborated here.

Effects on Skeletal Muscle

Once muscles atrophy inspite of the availability of ample proteins. During the Salat and Taraweeh, every muscle in the body contracts isotnically and others isometrically. This gentle exercise also enhances endurance and diminishes tiredness. It helps the incapacitated to make the most of their remnant capabilities. The blood flow in strung muscle is low. During the prayers the blood flow is greatly increased to the muscles. Blood flow sometimes increases even before the start of Taraweeh prayers, with just the thought of performing the Taraweeh prayers. In addition to needing fats, proteins, and carbohydrates, the human body requires minerals such as Potassium for nerve and muscle activity. It is found in fruits, meats, seafood and milk. Potassium deficiency leads to muscular and neurologic disorders. Potassium is also important in the transmission of nerve impulses and is a major positive ion in intracellular fluids. Potassium is involved in cellular enzyme activities, and it helps regulate the chemical reactions by which carbohydrates is converted to energy and amino acids are converted to protein. Also Potassium ions cause vasodilation of arterioles. During the Taraweeh prayers, systolic Blood pressure may rise (the larger number in B.P.) a little and the diastolic Blood Pressure(the lower number in B.P.) may remain unchanged or even fall. However after the Taraweeh prayers are over, the B.P. may drop to just below normal levels which is a welcome sign. Taraweeh prayers improve respiratory efficiency; circulation in the capillaries surrounding the alveoli, or air sacs, is increased, and this brings about enhanced gas exchange and deeper breathing. The increase in the maximal consumption of oxygen is what makes the Namazi feel better. Those who perform the Taraweeh prayers, apart from the prescribed Salat, are more alert and active than those who do not perform the Taraweeh prayers, even after the age of retirement. Taraweeh prayers improve physical strength and joint stability and reduce the risk of injury to the tendons and connective tissues. After age 40, the bone mineral density falls with age. Taraweeh prayers increase bone mineral density in both menopausal and in elderly women and prevents osteoporosis and maintains normalcy in bone structures. Osteoporosis results in hip fractures in women after menopause and in elderly men. The risk of osteoporosis is substantially reduced by regular Salat and Taraweeh prayers. The prayers improve lubrication of joints, movement, and maintain flexibility. Deep vein thrombosis (the most common cause of ulceration of the legs in the elderly) is prevented by performing Salat and Taraweeh prayers.

Metabolic Effects

Salat improves body weight control and expend calories without proportionate increase in appetite. A combination of moderate dietary restriction, both at the Iftar and Sahur (early morning breakfast before the start of fast) meals, accompanied by the Taraweeh prayers, should achieve weight reduction. This will also reduce both fat and body weight, but fat-free weight will remain constant or may even increase slightly. Hence during Ramadan one should not overeat at the Sahur and Iftar meals and continue to perform Salat and Taraweeh prayers in order to lose some of the excess weight.

It is well known that exercise prevents coronary heart disease (CHD), increases high density lipo-proteins (HDL or healthy Cholesterol), increases maximum oxygen uptake, slows the heart, lowers the B.P. slightly, decreases ventricular ectopic activity, enlarges the lumen of the coronary arteries and increases cardiac output. Exercise also improves carbohydrate tolerance and improves late-onset diabetes, and helps cases of chronic respiratory diseases. Beneficial changes have been recorded in the lipid profile, B.P., clotting factors, weight reduction and insulin sensitivity of muscles and other tissues in persons who exercise regularly. Growth Hormone secretion is elevated by fasting and it is further elevated by Taraweeh prayers. As Growth Hormone is necessary for collagen formation, this may be an important factor as to why the skin of those who fast regularly during Ramadan and perform the Taraweeh prayers do not get wrinkled, even when they grow old.

Mental Health

It is a known fact that exercise improves mood, thought and behaviour. Exercise improves the quality of life, induces greater sense of well-being and energy, reduces anxiety and depression, influences mood favourably and contributes to self-esteem and an aura of confidence; improves memory in the elderly especially with constant repetition of the Ayaat (verses) from the Glorious Quran and other Ayaat which exalt His Glory. This constant repetition of the Quranic Ayaat would help to screen the mind from the incoming thoughts. It has been found by a Harvard University researcher, Dr. Herbert Benson that repetition of a prayer, Ayaat of the Quran or remembrance (Dhikr) of Allah or muscular activity coupled with passive disregard of intensive thoughts causes a "relaxation response" that leads to the lowering of Blood Pressure and decreases in oxygen consumption and a reduction in heart and respiratory rates. All these are combined in the Taraweeh prayer which is an ideal condition for "relaxation response." It combines repeated muscular activity with repetition of Salat, chanting of words of glorification of Allah and of supplications. The Taraweeh prayer puts the mind in a relaxed state. This calm state of the mind may be partly due to the release of encephalins, beta-endorphins (endogenous morphines) and others into the blood circulation. Endorphins are any one of the neuropeptides composed of many amino acids, elaborated by the pituitary gland and acting on the central and peripheral nervous systems to reduce pain. Endorphins are categorised as alpha-endorphin, beta-endorphin, and gamma-endorphin which produce pharmacologic effects similar to morphine. Beta-endorphin found in the brain and GI(gastro-intestinal) tract is the most potent of the endorphins and is a powerful analgesic(pain killer) in humans and animals. For example during childbirth many women release endorphins reducing a woman's sensation of pain. The release of endorphins is associated with an euphoria. During childbirth, women who give birth with little or no medication sometimes label this euphoria a "birth climax."

Conclusion

Islam is the only religion where physical movements of Salat and Taraweeh prayers are combined with spiritual exercise. When Salat and Taraweeh prayers are practised throughout a person's life, recurring every few hours or so, trains a person to undertake the difficult task of meditation during physical manoeuvres of Salat and Taraweeh prayers, so that the Namazi(one who performs the Salat) benefits both from spiritual as well as physical exercise.Salat and Taraweeh prayers are unique in that tension builds up in the muscles during physical manoeuvres on the one hand, while tension is relieved in the mind due to the spiritual ingredient, on the other hand. The following benefits have been noted among those who perform the Taraweeh prayers: burning off calories and losing weight, maintaining muscle tone and body composition, joint flexibility (stiff joints are often the result of disuse, not arthritis), increasing metabolic rate, improving circulation, improving heart and lung function and aerobic capacity, decreasing heart disease risk profile, increasing your sense of self-control, reducing your level of stress, increasing your ability to concentrate, improving your appearance, reducing depression and resistance to depression, helping you sleep better and suppressing your appetite. Evidence is also accumulating that those who perform regular Salatalong with voluntary prayers can conserve and actually retard the loss of bone mass in the elderly, thus staving off the ravages of osteoporosis that afflicts both men and women. It is also possible to retard the aging process and confer some protection to health in later life. Those who have performed Salat (Fard and Wajib), Sunnah and Nafland Taraweeh prayers throughout life get protection and a positive effect in terms of health and longevity. They reverse the life-shortening effects of cigarette smoking and excess body weight. Even people with high blood pressure (a primary heart disease risk) reduced their death rate by one-half and their risk of dying from any of the major diseases is reduced. They also counter genetic tendencies toward an early death.

Hence Salat (Fard, Wajib), Sunnah, Nafl and Taraweeh prayers are necessary for Muslims to preserve life and their desirable qualities into old age.